Our grateful thanks to Lynsey Pollard from Home Start in Stroud & Glocester (part of a network of 175 Home Start charities across the UK) for her contribution to our radio report, which you can hear again at the bottom of this page. You can find a link to Home Start UK on our links page.
You’re not alone: finding support as a new parent. Having a baby can be wonderful but it can also be exhausting, overwhelming and surprisingly lonely. If you’re struggling, you are not alone.
We often talk about how important it is to give children the best possible start in life. But there is something equally important that can sometimes get overlooked: supporting the parents who are caring for them.
New research from Home-Start UK highlights just how widespread loneliness can be among parents of young children. Almost half – 49% of parents with children under five – say they can feel lonely or isolated, with 17% saying they often or always feel this way. More than one in five rarely or never have meaningful contact with another adult outside their household.
That matters because becoming a parent can completely change your world. Friends may be back at work. Family might live miles away. Your partner may have returned to work. Getting out of the house can feel like a major undertaking. And when you are tired, worried or struggling financially, it can be even harder to reach out.
Feeling lonely doesn't mean you're a bad parent. There can be an enormous pressure on new parents to feel happy and grateful all the time. But real life is more complicated.
You can love your baby enormously and still feel lonely. You can be grateful to have your child and still find parenting incredibly difficult. You can have people around you and still feel completely alone.
None of that means you are failing. In fact, asking for help can be one of the most positive things you can do, for yourself and for your child.
Small steps can make a big difference. If you're feeling isolated, you don't have to suddenly become a social butterfly. Start small.
Talk to someone. Tell your partner, a friend, family member, health visitor or GP how you're really feeling. You don't have to wait until things become unbearable.
Get out of the house, even briefly. A walk with the pram, a trip to the library, a coffee with another parent or a visit to a local baby group can create opportunities for connection.
Don't worry about making friends immediately. Sometimes simply being around other parents who understand what you're going through can make a difference.
Accept offers of help. If someone offers to bring dinner, hold the baby while you shower, or simply sit and talk, you don't have to do everything yourself.
Find your local support. Your health visitor can tell you about local parent-and-baby groups, children's services and other sources of support. NHS guidance also points parents towards Family Hubs, which can provide access to parenting support, health visiting, feeding advice and mental health support.
Home-Start: practical support from people who understand. This is where organisations such as Home-Start can make a real difference. Home-Start works with families with young children, providing compassionate, non-judgemental and confidential support. Trained volunteers can support families in their own homes, while many local Home-Starts also run groups where parents can meet others and build connections.
Importantly, you don't have to be in crisis to ask for help. Home-Start's message is simple: all parents struggle at times, and you don't have to struggle alone.
Their latest research found that among parents who feel lonely or isolated, more than half say loneliness is affecting their mental health. The research also highlights the impact of financial pressures, lack of time and being physically separated from family and friends.
Look after yourself too. When you have a young baby, it can feel as though every bit of attention should go towards your child. But your health matters too.
If you're persistently feeling low, anxious, overwhelmed or unable to cope, talk to your midwife, health visitor or GP. Mental health problems can affect parents during pregnancy and after a baby is born, and getting support early can help.
You don't need to have the right words. You can simply say: “I'm struggling and I don't know what to do.”
That is enough to start a conversation.
A few places to start
Home-Start UK (see our links page). Find your local Home-Start and see what support is available in your area.
NHS – support for parents. Information about health visitors, Family Hubs, parent-and-baby groups and other services.
Your health visitor. Your health visitor is there for you as well as your baby. They can listen, offer advice and connect you with local services and groups.
Your GP. If you're worried about your mental or physical health, your GP can help you find the right support.
And perhaps the most important message...If you're sitting at home with a baby or toddler and thinking that everyone else seems to be coping while you're struggling, remember this: You are not the only one.
Parenting young children can be incredibly demanding. Needing support isn't a sign that you're getting it wrong. It's a sign that you're human.
Sometimes the most important thing a parent needs isn't another parenting manual or another piece of advice. It's someone to listen. Someone to understand. And someone to remind them that they don't have to do it alone.
Listen to this weeks radio report
All material on this website is provided for your information only and may not be construed as medical advice or instruction. No action or inaction should be taken based solely on the contents of this information; instead, readers should consult appropriate health professionals on any matter relating to their health and well-being.
